Write a how to guide

You only clicked on one video. You weren’t even that interested in it; you were just looking for a way to pass the time. Then Boom! Your entire feed is flooded with that topic. 

This month, the YouTube algorithm decided that my passion was powerlifting. I must have clicked on some top 10 heaviest lifts video and given it a like –  honestly I don’t remember. But now, when I open the app, I see an ocean of shirtless screaming men. Not wanting to put in the effort of actually searching for a video, I click on the one with the most red arrows in the thumbnail, shut down my brain, and push off my homework for just a few minutes longer.

Just like an anti-vaxxer on Facebook, I think that this minimal internet research pretty much makes me an expert. So, without further ado, here is a how-to guide on powerlifting from someone who has watched a combined 30 minutes of film and lifted zero weights in the past week. Also it’s not really a how-to guide, more of an overview of the sport, but if you’re really set on learning how to powerlift just go talk to Ms. Brewer or Mr. Bronowski. Also I lied about that without further ado part.

Powerlifting competitions are divided by weight class. I don’t know exactly how many classes there are, but its between two and twenty. The goal is to lift the most total weight across bench press, deadlift, and squat. You get three tries at each lift and only your heaviest lift counts. Typically, people can lift the most weight on the deadlift, followed by the squat and then the bench is the weakest. This is the opposite for me because I only bench because I think the other lifts are scary.

For each lift, there is usually some guy standing in the background (sometimes it’s a woman, but powerlifting seems more popular among men). He waves around his arms and it has some meaning but I haven’t figured that out yet. I think he is the one who determines whether the lift counts, like on the squat he gets angry if the lifter doesn’t go low enough or on the bench he gets angry if the lifter bounces the bar rather than pausing at the bottom. On the topic of the bench, most of the guys arch their backs so high and grip the bar so wide that they only end up moving the weight like 6 inches.

A lot of powerlifters like to accessorize. Some of them wear belts to keep their backs or cores tight or something. I also see a lot of elbow, wrist, and knee wraps. Some guys even wear full body elastic suits. The suits must serve some practical purpose because they look really lame. Most lifters also use chalk. I’m not really sure whether to call them lifters, athletes, or participants. ⅓ of the sport is done laying down so the term athlete feels uncomfortable.

One serious piece of advice is to never watch fail or injury videos. I clicked on one once because the title said “don’t click on this video” and it turns out that the title was totally right. Some dude ripped his pec and bicep, another popped a bunch of blood vessels and there was blood coming out all over his face (he finished his lift and then passed out) and worst of all was a guy who was doing a heavy squat and collapsed onto his knees with his heels touching his butt. I stopped watching after that last one. Not to pour salt on the wound, but it was kinda his fault for not just dropping the bar. 

Anyways, that’s about all there is to know about powerlifting. I bet you’re pretty impressed by how much I know. I’m a very quick learner. I can’t wait to see what I become an expert in next. 

Is “doing nothing” a good use of your time?

I hate the answer “It depends.” On my list of least favorite answers, it falls just below “maybe, maybe not” and a smidge above “I don’t know.” But certain vague questions necessitate equally vague answers, and the question “is doing nothing a good use of time” receives a solid "perhaps." 

This question hinges on two definitions. First, what is “doing nothing”? Second, what is a “good” use of time? Of course, truly doing nothing is not often a good use of time. Really, it’s impossible to do absolutely nothing unless you are dead. But, under certain circumstances, and with certain definitions of the aforementioned terms, there are arguments that doing “nothing” can be beneficial.

For doing nothing to be a good use of time, it cannot get in the way of important tasks. Taking breaks to increase productivity is useful, but complete procrastination is the opposite of a good use of time. There are many activities that could be considered doing nothing, but I think that as long as an activity makes you happy and doesn’t negatively impact your life (e.g. work/school, relationships, health), it is a good use of time. Watching TV, napping in a hammock, or just daydreaming can all be considered “doing nothing,” but they can still be good uses of time.

There are a lot of times I can think of where doing nothing would have been better than doing something. I could have avoided making mistakes, getting hurt, or saying stupid things. But I guess, in these situations, doing nothing would have been neutral rather than good.

Subbie year, we had to write a “This I Believe” essay. From what I remember, the point was to express some element of our worldviews. I recently revisited that essay (I like to reread old writing because it brings back forgotten memories and it’s fun to see how I have changed). The writing was okay, but what is important to this essay is the argument that I made.

My thesis was that “some days are best spent in pajamas.” In the essay, I made an argument for doing nothing. I wrote it after reading some interesting research on the brain. I didn’t cite my sources, but in the essay, I claim that doing nothing can “boost memory, improve decision making and concentration, reduce anger and frustration, and boost confidence.” I also recall watching a video around that time called “Why Boredom is Good For You.” It explained that boredom, essentially doing nothing, puts you in an unfocused, drifting mental state that leads to increased creativity and allows for self-reflection.

All this to say, there is some evidence in support of doing nothing, so long as doing nothing gives you time to think and/or relax. Since subby year, I have occasionally tried to apply these principles to my own life, but I’ve been pretty unsuccessful. I have a hard time doing any activity without my phone. Getting ready for school, exercising, and eating are all prime opportunities for me to watch YouTube videos, listen to podcasts, or browse Reddit. But, possibly just due to placebo or a sense of self righteousness, the few times I have managed to pull myself away from my phone, I feel more relaxed and I am able to complete my activities more efficiently. 

There is one more annoying answer that I'd like to add to my list from before. And that is “In moderation.” As much as I dislike that answer, it applies here. Doing nothing, just like doing almost any kind of something, is good in moderation. I think it was good that I spent an hour watching TV with my family tonight. I don’t think it was good that I then watched an hour of YouTube and didn’t start this essay until midnight (I know I'm posting on Tuesday but I promise I wrote this on Saturday night). 

What could you live without?

There are many things I could live without – homework, tests, chores, and cauliflower just to name a few. But none of these answers are interesting because they are things that most people hate. On the other hand, most people like to travel. I do not. 

Of course I am privileged to say this. For some people, getting to leave their state or country can be a lifelong goal. I don’t mean to complain about traveling, but I will explain why, most of the time, I prefer to just stay home.

Travel often feels like an unjustified amount of time and effort for experiences that never match expectations. Beyond these subjective measures, travel has objective downsides. Hotels, transportation, food, and entertainment can all get expensive. People who travel in cities often go shopping, which is expensive, and they buy things they don’t need. These unnecessary items, coupled with the effect of transportation, are harmful to the environment.

Obviously people know that trips involve trade-offs, but most still choose to travel because the pleasures outweigh the negatives. Traveling also feels more justified when you do activities that you could not do at home. For example, my family likes to go to Broadway shows and art museums, which both require travel. On the other hand, there’s not much that I like to do that requires travelling, so often the negatives of a trip, and the opportunity costs, outweigh the pleasure. Going to a Yankees game is cool, but I don’t enjoy it that much more than watching a game at home. Going to the beach is also nice, but I'd probably have more fun playing tennis at the park.

Another important factor is that I much prefer the comfort of my house to any hotel. I like having my bed, bathroom, and all my stuff. At home, I can sleep in until noon, but if I do that on vacation, I feel guilty for wasting precious time. At home I have more freedom, whereas on vacation, my schedule is more dependent on my family. At home I can hang out with friends and my cats. My friends and my cats do not come on vacations with me. I know some people find it boring to be at home, but I always feel like there is something interesting to do. 

Not all vacations are equal. While my first choice is staying home, I still vastly prefer short trips with planned events and locations (like shows, games, or monuments) over long trips or aimless wandering. I have little preference between nature and cities for day trips, but I detest camping.

There are two trips per year that I really enjoy. Almost every year, I go to California and New York to visit family. I enjoy these trips because they are not too different from being at home. The places are familiar, we typically stay in houses instead of hotels, and I do most of the same things I do at home with occasional day trips to the city (San Francisco or New York City). Still, I wouldn’t go on these trips without the familial obligation. 

I already feel like I could do with one or less trips per year, but to completely abstain I would need to live somewhere more interesting than Champaign. 

Even then, however, I think I would eventually get the urge to travel. There are “bucket list” destinations and activities that I am curious to experience. I have crossed off some items, like going to Disney World and seeing a Celtics game, and I am very thankful for those experiences, but I’m happy to work my way through the rest of my list slowly.

Ultimately, I think travel is important for a fulfilling life, and I appreciate the opportunities that I have had to do so, but I think that I enjoy it far less than most people.

What hobbies have been passed down from your family?

If this essay is boring, you can blame it on my parents. They were inconsiderate. Some people do skydiving or axe-throwing, but all I got was basketball. My dad has played basketball his entire life. He played for a season in college and for my whole life he has played at the YMCA or at the park. While we don’t play together much anymore, we have probably played a thousand games together over my lifetime.

There is a picture of me in our family photo album. I am in the playroom of our old house and I am shooting a little rubber basketball into a three-foot plastic hoop. According to my parents, I was about one in the photo, and I had just started playing basketball.

There is another photo, this one from my grandparents house in New York. I am 3 years old holding a basketball and wearing a green jersey and matching shorts. By this point, I was completely obsessed. I read basketball books, I watched basketball on TV, and I wore exclusively basketball clothes. Whenever we went on vacation, finding a basketball hoop was my number one priority. If our destination didn’t have a hoop, I would improvise. I have a vague memory of going to the crayola factory and getting scolded for grabbing handfuls of crayons, walking away, and trying to toss them back into the bins from afar.

I remember hitting my first shot on a 10ft hoop, I can recall highlights and lowlights of games going back 10 years, I remember going to my first NBA game, I remember having basketball birthday parties at the YMCA, I remember father-son basketball camp, and I have so many memories of playing at the park with friends.

I started out playing YMCA and park district basketball. These teams were full of my friends and often coached by my dad. Around fourth grade, I played on my first AAU team, which practiced at the U of I facility and was occasionally visited by the U of I coach. I missed the beginning of my fourth grade season with a broken finger (I broke it at practice the day before our first game). In sixth grade, after breaking another finger the summer prior, I joined another AAU team (while still playing on the first one, simultaneously). For both teams we played in tournaments in Bloomington, Chicago, and St. Louis. I have great memories of staying in hotels and going to Buffalo Wild Wings after games.

Since seventh grade, I have played for my school team every year. My subbie season started off well, but I missed most of the season with a concussion and a broken finger. Freshman year was uneventful and Sophomore year was just practices and scrimmage. I can’t wait for this season – I think we have the potential to be really good.

I have so many more basketball memories: Putting bags over my ball to improve my ball-handling, writing plays for 3 on 3 tournaments, and spending hours reading about basketball shoes. I still watch NBA youtube videos and play 2K. I have three nerf hoops in my room and most days after school I shoot around at the park.

Certainly part of the reason I love basketball is my dad, but I don’t feel like I was forced into it. I’ve played football, soccer, and baseball as well, but basketball is what stuck. I also play tennis, but my life is pretty boring so I’ll stretch that into another essay.

One would think that after playing for so long I would be good at basketball. One would think. Despite likely not playing in college, I don’t regret any of the time I have spent playing basketball. It has provided friends, exercise, and competition. But most importantly, I love to play. I would revise this essay more, but I have to get some shots up before my CS quiz.

Have you ever felt embarrassed by the things that you used to like?

When you really get down to it, the interests of kids are not very diverse. There are kids who play sports, kids who do art, and probably a half-dozen other categories you can think of.  In my mind, martial-arts is one of these common interests. Given that it’s a common interest,  I’m not embarrassed that I did Kung-Fu. I am embarrassed that, as a five foot tall eleven year old with four years of glorified dance lessons, I felt like Jackie Chan, Chuck Norris, and Batman were my peers.

I don’t mean to insult martial arts in general (that may be the topic of another essay) or my specific kwoon. I have great memories from Kung-Fu; I loved the teacher, my classmates, and at the time, I thought the uniform was awesome. I started taking lessons in 3rd grade. At the time, they were held in my classroom after school, although eventually the teacher upgraded to his own building.

There were a lot of rituals in the class. We had to wear a uniform consisting of our special shirt, sweatpants, jacket, sash, and Feiyue shoes. We had to address the teacher in a certain way and bow before entering and exiting the studio. We also had to memorize paragraphs of philosophy. But the worst part of all was the forms. These are sequences of punches, kicks, and blocks that we had to memorize and perform, but really, they just look like dances (with required grunting).

The kids’ classes were pretty laid-back. We played a lot of games like dodgeball and we did obstacle courses. We spent a lot of time practicing punching and kicking and occasionally we would spar. The sparring was occasional because we would instantly forget everything we had learned and it quickly devolved into wrestling. While I can’t recall every drill that we did, I do remember a particularly humiliating one. It was a five minute “air fight,” which involves randomly punching, kicking, and blocking the air for five minutes. Even ten year old me knew that that was lame. 

In addition to the normal classes, I also took weapons classes. These were once a week (I think) and every few months we would learn a new “weapon.” The “weapons” that I learned were the fan, cane, nunchucks, and staff. Other than the staff, none of these weapons had very practical uses, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like a dangerous killing machine. I don’t blame the teacher for this -- I wouldn’t expect him to give a room of fifth graders handguns, and even if he had explained that the weapons were primarily artistic, I wouldn’t have listened.

Another special class I took was the demonstration team. We were a group of about six kids who would go to community events and perform demonstrations to recruit new students. As with the other classes, this was a lot of fun. We designed our own forms and got special jackets. I remember performing at the Sweetcorn Festival, in parades, and in promotional videos. While I know I was young and nobody even took notice, I can’t help but be embarrassed that I felt qualified to show off my skills in public.

I ended up quitting Kung-Fu some time in seventh grade. At that point I was starting to feel embarrassed by it all, and I was in the adult classes, which lacked both the friends and activities that had made Kung-Fu so exciting. I still have my black belt certificate hanging on my bedroom wall. It reminds me of all the fun times I had, but it also serves as a reminder against excess pride. I still feel happy about my accomplishments, but I try not to brag about anything because I know that I will look just as silly as a chubby 10 year old who thinks there’s a good chance he’s the reincarnation of Bruce Lee.

Do you wish you could return to a moment in your past?

The first step to answering a question, especially one as vague as this one, is to understand exactly what it is asking.  The question, “Do you wish you could return to a moment in your past?” is a yes or no question, but I assume it is also asking which moment I would returned to. I will also answer this question with the assumption that I would just be re-experiencing the past the way it happened or at least that any changes I make would not affect the present timeline, which means no investing in Apple or stopping COVID. Finally, I will take “moment” to mean a few hours or less.

The three types of answers that come to mind are happy moments, regrets, and ways to benefit my present. There are many happy moments that I am tempted to pick. Unfortunately, memory is unreliable and nostalgia is powerful. I wouldn’t want to risk returning to a happy memory only to realize that elements were fictional. I was also younger when many of these memories were formed so it is possible that there were negatives to these situations that I was too young to pick up on. For someone with a happy memory that could no longer be replicated (for example if they lost a loved one), choosing this option would make sense, but I can still do most of the activities in my happy memories and I don’t want to ruin any of my possibly unreliable memories.

The next category of answers that I can think of would be regrets. Despite my actions in my return to the past not being able to change the present, there are still moments where it would be interesting to see what else could have happened in just that moment. I could also use this return to the past as a time to do things without experiencing long term legal or social consequences. I could try out jokes, ask embarrassing questions, or learn how people would react if I took certain actions.

The final category of answers would be those that benefit the present. Without directly changing the present there are still many ways that I could go back in time to obtain information that would help me. For example, if I am debating someone, I could have the debate with a past version of them, learn their counter arguments, and then formulate responses. I could also use this ability to make money. I could participate in a trivia contest and then head to the past to look up the answers. If I was struggling on a test I could go back and check the textbook. I would not choose any of these options because they seem unethical and there is one final option that I prefer.

Until I think of something more creative, my answer to this question would be yes, but I would save the ability until a crisis. If someone is having a heart attack, I could go back in time to refresh my knowledge of CPR. If my house were on fire, I could go back just a few minutes to figure out where my cats were and plan my escape so that when I return to the present I can quickly grab them and leave. While I am sure someone has a more creative idea for how to utilize this ability, I feel safe in the decision to save it for an emergency. If I get to the end of my life and I have not used my wish, then I would choose a happy memory to return to. Although I don’t know exactly which I would choose, It would be some moment with family and friends. Maybe I would choose a holiday, a good meal, or just some time at the park (although returning to a period of non-fiction writing class would be right up there too).